On February 11th 2016, our life changed forever. My wife Susan and I were out shopping when, unexpectedly and without warning, Susan collapsed into cardiac arrest. No major health issues, no illness, no heart complaint… she just collapsed… aged 46 years.
As a very experienced serving Police Officer at the time, I had experienced trauma that most had not, and I knew how to deal with it… and did, on this occasion, carrying out CPR until paramedics arrived and took over.
These amazing people brought Susan back.
Two weeks later, having received the most amazing critical care, she was discharged, ICD fitted, diagnosed idiopathic and told to get on with our lives…
Well…
I am preaching to the converted… easier said than done!
Off I went on a hunt to try and understand our new normal, our new life. I say ours because Sudden Cardiac arrest doesn’t just affect the survivor… again I am preaching to the converted.
The hunt for answers and support took several months until one day; I stumbled across what I thought was just a Facebook group… Sudden Cardiac Arrest UK. I found a community of people like me, begging for answers and understanding.
It was a light bulb moment for me.
It was different for Susan.
She wanted to get on with her life and didn’t want her arrest to define and dictate what she could and couldn’t do. Peer-to-peer support at that time was not on the cards for her, but it certainly was for me.
Over the next few years, I received amazing support from my peers in the group, which eventually evolved into me providing support to those earlier in their journey. Twelve months or so after I joined, Susan also took the leap, feeling more comfortable that she was in a position to read about others’ journeys, compare, support, and learn.
I then became increasingly involved in contributing to the group, assisting in arranging regional meet-ups in Central Scotland and supporting its management. By this stage, I had realised that this was so much more than a Facebook Group. I poured myself into the SCA UK website, learning about the amazing resources and contributing to their development.
When the group took the plunge and decided it was time to become a Charity, I was honoured to have been asked by Paul to be one of the Trustees. This was a defining moment in our Cardiac Arrest journey, our new normal.
Where am I going with this?
One of our first major projects as a charity was arranging a Sudden Cardiac Arrest UK Conference. Although I had attended meet-ups, I had never been to anything of this magnitude, despite being vastly experienced in attending, organising, and facilitating conferences through my day job. This was different, though.
To begin with, and for a considerable amount of time, I advised the other Trustees that I would not be attending. I spoke with Susan. This was her idea of a nightmare. She couldn’t explain it any further than that. Respecting her views and considering the distance from my home to the venue (428 miles), I stuck with my decision.
This changed, however, around two months before the Conference. I saw the efforts the other trustees were putting in and the programme being developed, and I met others whom the trustees brought in to support. Once the ball was rolling, the conference gathered momentum, and I realised it was something that I had to experience. So I made the huge joint decision that I would attend and Susan would not.
For partners of survivors, you will fully understand the aspect of leaving your survivor for any length of time… it makes no sense. Of course, they are safe, but leaving them alone is one of the hardest things you can do as a partner, and it certainly is how I felt.
I drove down to the conference.
The night before, we had an informal gathering in the bar. I met many, many people I had chatted with on the Facebook group. I met two of our Trustees for the first time. I put names to faces, and, like our regional meet-ups, I was amongst a group of people who all got “it,” whatever “it” was.
The next day, we woke up early to set up for the Conference guests’ arrival. Nearly 200 people will be attending: survivors, partners, key supporters, medical professionals, and businesses from the medical supplies world.
In the afternoon, we broke the attendees down into two groups: survivors and key supporters. I facilitated the key supporter’s group with the medical team’s support from Essex Cardiothoracic Centre. It’s fair to say we underestimated the power of what we were doing. Whilst we had a very large room, the attendees were queuing up outside. We had a very meaningful facilitated conversation for nearly an hour. Encouraging others who had been and were in the same position as me was hugely impactful. I clearly recall one attendee shedding a tear and telling us this was the first time they had managed to share their story and openly cry.
That memory will stay with me forever.
On debriefing, and even at the time, we realised as a team that we could have delivered that session so much better, and we have learned from that. I’m sure our sessions at the forthcoming conference will incorporate that learning and be the best we can deliver.
Onto the evening, a quick shower and change of clothes—just casual, or dress up if you want. We all gathered in the main room, and we chatted, and chatted, and chatted with each other. We had a fantastic guest as an after-dinner speaker, some background music, and a magician going around the tables, amusing us with his trickery.
The day and evening went by in a flash.
When I returned home after a very long journey, I told Susan all about my experience, and yes… when I was away, she had been fine. It was my issue, not hers.
Now, we are in the closing stages of planning our next conference, and Susan has decided she will also attend. It’s amazing how our journeys adapting to our new normal develop at different paces.
I look forward to attending the conference in May and sincerely hope to meet as many of you as possible. I assure you that you will be among friendly faces and attend a conference delivered in a meaningful and highly professional manner.
The challenge for you is to work out why Paul, Myself and Karl ( a survivor and key advisor to the Trustees) all dress as each other at the Conference 😉
Join Us for the “10 Years Together” Conference in May!
Celebrate a decade of support, community, and resilience with Sudden Cardiac Arrest UK. Whether you’re a survivor, a family member, or a supporter, this conference is your opportunity to connect, share, and learn.
Why Attend?
- Inspiring Stories: Hear from survivors and their families.
- Expert Insights: Gain valuable knowledge from leading medical professionals.
- Community Connection: Meet others who understand your journey.
Save the Date: Saturday 17th, May 2025
Location: Hinckley Island Hotel, Hinckley, Leicestershire
Register Now and be part of this milestone event. Together, we can continue to make a difference!
For complete conference information, visit the event page.
I joined SCA UK in 2016, shortly after my wife suffered an out-of-hospital Sudden Cardiac arrest while we were shopping. Luckily, I was able to step in as I knew CPR. She was diagnosed as idiopathic and has an ICD, and she has since made a good recovery. The support we have both received through SCA UK is immeasurable and encouraged me to participate more and more with the group, whereby I eventually was invited to be a moderator of the group. In 2021 I retired from Police Scotland, where I had served for 30 years, and I am now Resilience Coordinator with a local authority in Scotland. I hope the skills I have developed through my working career and the experience of being a lifesaver and husband to a cardiac arrest survivor will allow me to give something back to SCA UK as a Trustee.
Well done.
Great article thanks Stuart. I had a cardiac arrest in August 2024 and my son and my wife saved me with CPR. I feel extremely grateful to still be here and very fortunate. As soon as I saw this conference was taking place I signed up for it as did my my wife. I did not know what to expect out of the conference but knew that I had to be there. Your article reaffirms that I made the right decision so thank you and I look forward to seeing you in May!
Looking forward to
Meeting you and your wife Jeremy . It’s one of these strange moments when you meet other survivors ……. we all know we have one thing in common
Thanks Stuart really looking forward to it and meeting you and Susan!
You are all amazing. I’ve felt so much support for the last 4.5 years, it was life saving having this group as virtual backup when we had no-one else. My husband sadly died recently but he had an extra few years which we were able to enjoy partly because we didn’t feel like outcasts and because we were provided with such a wealth of knowledge from SCAUK. Thank you so much
As my son said at the beginning this came as a complete shock to myself and all our family. Stuart and Susan are both a wonderful couple. I as a father am so proud of them both. You learn as a family to never take life for granted.
Congratulations on producing such as excellent webiste and support service for SCD survivors. I write as a recently retired cardiologist and electrophysiologist who had implanted severl hundred ICDs and had run the local sudden death service when I had a collapse and ended up with an ICD myself! It is an interesting journey moving from medic to patient in my own specialism! Support from groups like yourselves is invaluable